This is all about my holiday with my sister, Julie, (commencing the 23rd of September) to Majorca.

Friday

Kicked off the day quite early by leaving mid-morning to drive to South Leverton from Derby (about 60 miles away). This is near to where I grew up and where my favourite hair-dresser is ! Got my locks cut at about mid-day and headed off to my mums (about another 20 miles) near Lincoln. Yacked for most of the afternoon before leaving with my sister just after 6pm.

Arrived at Newcastle Airport and promptly got confused with the car parking (I had been sensible and pre-booked). Decided to forget about that – just park – and hope for the best when we got back. Because the person holding the second ticket had changed (now my sister, Julie) I had to pick up a replacement ticket at the Thompson desk. Did so but obviously nobody bothered to change the computer details because confusion ensued at the luggage check-in when the ticket didn’t match the computer. That’s soon sorted only to find my hand luggage was over-weight. They told me to leave some stuff behind. Yea, right. So we swiftly dump some bottles of water and then transfer some heavy items into a handbag my sister is carrying (of course, not telling them that’s what we did). It now weighs okay and we’re finally through. As per usual for her, my sister gets stopped twice for random searches and at some point we reach the plane. The Boeing 757 leaves about a quarter to midnight for Palma.

Once in Palma we are eventually told where we’ll be staying (this was a last minute booking so it’s allocated on arrival)… Magalluf. The self catering apartments we’re dropped off and typical fair for that area – a big white concrete box – but the rooms aren’t bad. Thankfully we’ve been given a large room with 2 separate bedrooms (myself and Julie had visions of having to share a bed).

Saturday

As per most mornings we didn’t arise and leave our room until not much before midday. Like most mornings too we ate breakfast (and because of the time, it became lunch as well) at the hotels cafe.

With temperatures still in the 30’s, we headed down to the beach for the afternoon to start off our tans. In the evening I went off and did my own thing in the main town centre – clubbing until some ridiculous hour at a place called Banana.

Sunday

Errmm, just like Saturday except it rained for a while early afternoon.

Monday

Finally, the week began to get a bit more interesting. Went to Water City for the afternoon. On the coach back we met up with two girls – Bev (23 and a nursery nurse) and Sarah (23 and a Database Administrator for a company that does animal experiments). Both were from Cambridge. We were all going to Pirates that evening (Pirates is hard to describe – lots of people on stage acting out as pirates, audience participations, adult humour, free food and drink, etc, etc) so we met up later for that. Also on our table were two other girls – Tasha (24 and a Credit Control Clerk – aka, a debt collector) and Mandy (23 and a care assistant). Pirates was great fun and afterwards we all headed off to the Foam Party at the Millennium Night Club. Tasha and Mandy didn’t have tickets so were reluctant to go, so I paid and also bought a round of drinks (£40 !!!!).

Tuesday

Felt very ill the next day from the alcohol ! Unfortunately I’d already arranged with Sarah to go on the Bungee Rocket. This is cage that is propelled into the air on two bungee cords. It gets up to 50m in a second and you experience 6g. Naturally I had a fried breakfast before I went !! It was great fun actually and I’d definitely do it again. Even took the chance to buy the video as well (there was a camera in the cage with you).

After that we spent the next few hours lazing on the beach (myself, Julie, Bev and Sarah). At 2:45 it was time to board a Catamaran for a 3 hour “booze cruise” – 3 hours of all the drink you can consume. We met up here with Tash and Mandy.After about one hour Tasha was feeling particularly ill so, as a joke, they put a life vest on her in case she fell overboard. Sarah soon felt ill as well and they found solice in sitting at the back of the boat, dangling their legs into the water. I have to admit the sea was pretty rough! We stopped a couple of times for people to dive into the sea (some pratts were so drunk they jumped in from the wrong end of the boat, hit some cables and slashed themselves. I refrained! That night we all met in the club bar for the usual quizzes, cheap alcohol quaffing and general silliness. Julie needed an early night so myself and the girls went on a bit of a bar crawl (getting thrown out of one for seeing who could slam their glass down on the table the hardest).

Wednesday

Recovering – feeling a bit worse for wear to say the least

Spent most of the afternoon by the pool side with Julie, Tasha and Mandy

That evening Julie found a new group of girls to link up with – they were all from Swansea and work in McDonalds. After the usual club bar evening we head off to the night club for the 80’s night – Errol Brown and the guy from Kool and the Gang are live on stage. Before we get there a few of us stop at Burger King because Cath (always drunk, no matter what time of day it is) was feeling peckish. At about 11:30 we decided ringing McDonalds in Swansea is a really good idea.

Thursday

After getting up about noon I had my usual fried breakfast (whilst still feeling drunk of course – I usually got a hangover mid-afternoon) and then headed off to the pool side to join the girls. Cath and Julie soon want to go in the pool (which is freezing but refreshing considering how hot the sun is) and we play, much to the annoyance of those other people in the pool, a game of catch with a ball. Soon the game deteriorates into “see who can soak the other person the most”. I lost.

Julie and I then went off into the main part of town for some souvenir buying and to have some non-permanent tattoos put on our arms.

Thursday night. Urrggghhhh. What a night

Every night the hotel bar has a happy hour – 2 drinks for one. So if you ask for a vodka and orange you get two pints of the stuff – each half filled with vodka. Yes, I had two. I also had 3 pints of lager. Then I got volunteered for a been drinking contest (where I had to have my hands behind my back and Tasha gave me the drink as fast as possible). There were 5 lads and I some-how won. Julie also put me in for the “lemon eating” contest. Can I peel and eat 2 lemons. No problem.

After that, though, I have no memory

We apparantly all went to a club for their popcorn night (same as the foam night except they fill the floor with popcorn), I drank the bar clean and then my sister bought me home at about 5am. I hit a tree on the walk back and fell down a hole. None of which I remember. Urrgggg.

Friday

Last day. Had to be out of the room at 11, so Julie woke me at 10. How much sleep ?

Everything was packed so there was little we could do today. Good job too as it decided to rain.

Bus wasn’t until about 2am so had to hang around until then. Tasha, Bev, Sarah and Mandy pretty much ignored us for no apparent reason but I got hugs and kisses from Cath and Laura which was nice. I’d seen Laura during the week, quite liked her, but she was married so I steered clear (didn’t want her getting the wrong idea). Got chatting to her on the last day and she was REALLY nice.

Saturday

Got on the bus, took ages to pick everyone up (including the most bizarre reversing manoeuvre by a bus driver you’re ever likely to see) and got to the airport. As was out luck, had problems again because the name on Julies tickets didn’t match the computer. Got through in the end. We were due back in Newcastle about 6am but eventually landed about 6:15. Was in the car and away by 7am.

Felt very tired so Julie soon took over the driving and got us back to her place. Showed my mum the videos, souvenirs, etc and headed off home myself. Rushed straight to Boots to get my photos processed !!

But it WAS a good holiday. I want to do the same again next year – same place, some hotel. Apparently, if I book way in advance I can get 2 weeks for the same price so I think that will be firmly in my mind.