If my late grandma was good for nothing else, it was her sayings. Some are well known ones, others she blatantly made up herself. All have stuck with me though and I often catch myself saying them to my daughter.

A good job jobbed

As black as Newgates Knocker (This somehow got re-interpreted by myself and my sister to “black as noogies knockers”. Newgates Knocker does of course refer to the big, metal door knocker on the front of Newgate Prison. Apparantly.)

B U G (This was my Gran not actually wanting to swear but instead spelling it. In this case, the word is bugger but spelling the whole word was too long so she just did the first 3 letters.)

Better than a smack in the eye (Isn’t most things ?)

Dish, done and diddled (The middle word is the clue to what this means but where the expression comes from, I have no idea.)

Don’t do as I do, do as I tell you.

Eat too much lemon and it will dry up your blood (My god, I’m in trouble then.)

Fanackapan (I was often called a fanackapan and it usually meant I was being a bit of a rogue. I just wish I knew what it meant.)

Funny cuts the barber (Interpretation: That wasn’t funny)

If at first you don’t succeed, suck eggs.

…if I’m still here (Attached to the end of most sentences when talking about something that needs doing in the future.)

If you sit too close to the fire you’ll go mad (Or the bastardised version “if you site too close to the fire you’ll get rabies”, as coined by myself and my sister)

I’m full of aches and pains that nobody dies of.

I’m just resting my eyes (Interpretation : I’m asleep)

It makes you want to spit

It’s a drop, not a bit (As I was always told, when I asked for a bit of water.)

It’s black over Wills mothers

Least said, soonest mended.

Needs must when the devil drives.

Not so dusty well brushed

Pot calling the kettle black

Pull out one and 6 more will grow

So there it is

That’s done and dusted

That’s it and all about it.

There’s no such word as “can’t” (My dictionary says otherwise. Maybe she was looking in her nurses dictionary.)

Touch wood and whistle (Superstition – if you do this it will stop bad luck.)

Worst things happen at sea

You arab

You look with your eyes, not your hands (Interpretation : DON’T TOUCH !!)

You make a good door but not a window (Interpretation : You’re standing in the way of the Television)

You’re too young to have nerves (I’ll never understand why she’d tell us this.)

Added 10/11/2007…
The wreck of the Hesperus (as in, you look like… to mean you look a mess)