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Try and guess which film this is a review of (I’ve edited it to remove anything that may give away the answer)…

zero stars. relentlessly ugly, both formally and in every other way, the visuals are disgusting and cheap, greyed out and amplified to the max with some of the worst visual effects work i’ve ever witnessed mixed with incompetent action sequences and broken editing. death doesn’t matter and neither does life, the attempts to make you care about these cyphers for hackneyed nihilism and disfigured corporate branding are more manipulative than adverts for industrial charities. there is nothing but emptiness and despair and fucking garbage here. it’s excruciating in its irritation, in its length and its abysmal handling of themes it’s not qualified to even begin discussing. this is disgusting

Logan Kenny

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a review of Deadpool 2. To put this in context, the same reviewer gave Fifty Shades of Grey 5 out of 5.

What sets this apart for me is the use of language to try and sound intelligent.. “cyphers for hackneyed nihilism and disfigured corporate branding”. My favourite example of this, not included above, is…

any potential form of resonance within the film’s coda gets swiped away with another fuck you to the camera

Who the hell uses the expression “resonance within the film’s coda”?

some of the worst visual effects work i’ve ever witnessed

I should send him a copy of Superman IV.