Fred The Fish

Written by my good self, on 4th June 1993. I’m also available for weddings and bar mitzvahs.

I once knew a fish
His name was Fred
I loved him so dearly
I took him to bed

But poor old fish
The bed was dry
He needed moisture
And eventually died

I bought a new fish
His name was banana
What I didn’t know
Was that he was a piranha

I loved him also
I bedded him too
But while I was asleep
He began to chew

He chewed off my arms
My legs and my feet
When I awoke
I admitted defeat

He took over my life
Bossed me about
If I did anything wrong
He began to shout

I began to hate him
I hatched a plot
I wanted him dead
I wanted him shot

Using my teeth
I held a twelve bore
Squeezing the trigger
Banana was no more

The moral of this story
Off the top of my head
Is love your pets
But don’t take them to bed


Valid YouTube Embedding

I use embedded YouTube, not only in this Blog, but on other sites as well. Recently this has been coming back to bite me as the code that YouTube supply for embedding is not, erm, valid. Or rather it doesn’t validate according to W3C rules.

Which means my sites have started falling foul of various on-line checkers which once were happy to say I had good sites.

Anyway, a touch of Googling and I found my answer – a piece of code that will not break validation. Hooyah. If you embed YouTube videos then this is recommended. Oh, and it apparently works with Google Video as well.

Meantime, YouTube have granted me a Directors account (cue diabolical laughter).


I’m struggling to get through doors… head is getting far too big.

I recently added a nice utility named Amberjack to my Copy+ site that produces site tours.

The Amberjack technical forum has been reporting problems with some tours not working in IE. Yet mine did. They couldn’t work it out. Until they validated the HTML. Mine was clean, theirs had errors.

Well, I don’t wish to say “I told you so”, but I’ve banging on about the advantages of clean code since… well… a long time. And I guess this proved my point.

Both this and my BMTG site follow the same rules (except the YouTube code breaks it… nothing much I can do about that though) and neither have had any issues with cross-browser compatibility.


Car Jacking Alert! the email went that I received from a good friend.

Apparently, a trick tried in the US is now coming over here. Car jackers place a piece of paper in the middle of your back window. When you notice it and get out of the car, they jump in and take your car.

Well, thank goodness I’ve been told. I can panic whenever I see a piece of paper on my car.

Except it’s all a load of rubbish, and I guessed as much as soon as I received it.

I wish – really wish – people would do some more research before sending out emails that could panic people unnecessarily. My mother-in-law-to-be was given something similar by a friend, all about how microwaving or freezing plastic containers can cause cancer. Except that’s rubbish too. But not before she’d told friends and family, far and wide.

Make Snopes your friend too. And in the case of the above two examples feel free to read the following:

Are parking lot carjackers placing flyers on rear windshields of cars?

Does microwaving foods in plastic containers release cancer-causing agents into the foods?

Does reusing plastic water bottles cause them to break down into carcinogenic compounds?

The thing is, by replying back to people with these links, I know people probably think I’m trying to be smug or just make them look stupid. In fact I’m just against people being unduly worried. Especially as it’s Christmas.

Ho ho ho.


What is it with cats…

… and hair balls?

The second time in about a month she comes in and throws up over the floor. “Thank god for laminate flooring” is what I say.

Just as we’re making tea as well.