My good friend Ruth was a young 30 last week and we all went out on Saturday night to – and you can tell she must be a good friend – a vegetarian restaurant.

Now, I’m not averse to vegetables. I just like them to accompany a good piece of meat (or fish). So, with another good friend, Dufty, we devised a plan. We will open our own restaurant. A carnivore restaurant named “We’ll Meat Again”. The only vegetable allowed will be potato (for chips). It will be meat, meat, meat and pudding. And we’ll site it across the road from a vegetarian restaurant so pale-faced people can get their fix.

Since that discussion I think “Would Like to Meat” would be an even better name.

And if that fails, I think my plans for a meat-based perfume would be a winner.